It’s been 3 days since I’ve performed and I already feel rusty and a little afraid. That’s how it always is even 25 years later. I’m sure there is a cognitive behavioral shift in perspective I could have about my perceived “readiness” to do a show, but I either haven’t had the willingness to craft the new thought for affirmation (something like, “I am always ready and qualified to perform!”) or, well, there’s no either.
I’ll again “bookend” with you, unknown reader and fellow artiste, that I will listen to my set from Wednesday today. I DO NOT WANT TO DO IT.
The thoughts in my head right now before listening to the hour recorded in my phone voice memos:
It’s going to be so uncomfortable to hear my own voice.
It’s hopeless anyways- there’s no need for more entertainment.
Just wait til tomorrow. I’ll do it tomorrow.
I did it! Listened to a 50 minute set of new material. Had some new ideas- need to research the book of Esther and the parable of the talents- I’ll do that right now.
Wow. The details on those stories are much more terrifying than the placid children’s books suggest. Holy cow. The idea developing is that I want to best the Christians at their own standards. Haha!