Feeling sad. Had a few people write me to say that Eugene show was disjointed and had too much old material and I just feel embarrassed.
The hilarious part is that I thought I did great at that show – was excited about new material- and response to it. So, what to do.
With critique, I’ve read the thing to do is to see what’s true about it- the truth is I Am a slow writer, I do old material and the new stuff IS disjointed (to me, too). And those facts are disappointing to people who have paid $37 a ticket and expected a whole new polished hour. Those thing are very true. Thusly, I have refunded money to anyone who wrote and complained. (Checks in the mail to Oregon!)
The part that is difficult now is just the sadness or shame- like, I shouldn’t have even performed or tried the material I did try or I need to make a public statement of apology and that seems off the mark. I performed at the top of my ability at this time for an hour and that’s got to be good enough or if it isn’t, then we’ll, I don’t know what to do except keep going.
And now today: keep preparing for shows in Boston and New Haven this weekend! Yoyiyoyoyoyiyo-yo.
I’ll bookend here doing my new jokes for my pal Steve on FaceTime and listening to set from Eugene- just so I have an idea of what happened that night and what is disjointed.
Sad, sad, sad.
ok! Went through all new material (53 minutes) w pal Steve over FaceTime and that brings relief and hope.
My sister also sent me a Teddy Roosevelt quote about trying and “being in the arena” that made me cry. She’s also experienced some rough reviews for her book and I’m honored that she’d share her experiences with me. She’s writing sincerely about things that mean a lot to her while I get to hide a little behind performance.
Now- going to listen to Eugene show while walking to drug store and see if I learn anything from the dreaded, disjointed programme!
Ok! Listened to it! Harrumph. It was disjointed and rambly. Aaaagh. With some good moments! But I can work on it. I’m going to try to do better to tighten up the new stuff and rehearse so I don’t stumble as much. It is probably a gift of having fans that know that the material can be better. I’ve never had big crowds before and expectations are probably higher (along with ticket prices).
Even if I have new material, people deserve a “show” and so I guess this has been good. Aaaaaaaagh. Just embarrassing that I had to have an audience member complain before getting this stuff tighter.
I’ve gone through my opening bits 2x now- once by myself and one with a friend and so that makes me feel better that- at the very least- I’m trying.