Headed to Grand Rapids

I was able to listen and transcribe material into my notebook for an hour with help from my pal, Alex, as a bookending support. I told him I’d just do 20 minutes and then, was able to do 2 more twenties and feel really excited about the material I wrote out and whispered to myself on the LAX to DTW Delta flight row 20 middle seat. So, victory!

Now, the fun part! Researching notes I’ve had about jokes- googling and learning about references I’m wondering about: open book accounting, gentrification, human trafficking – to name a few topics.

I’ll write more tomorrow once in the GR!

Did an hour of rehearsing with Jackie Kashian and opener Hayden Krystal (very funny comic currently in Detroit). That was helpful.

My thoughts at a little speedy as a result of going down on a medication in order to stop gaining weight and that may end up not working. I love words but when they start tangling up into ever-changing “better” versions of the same sentence, I think it may be time to stop writing and just make a face.

Well, two shows were a good but second show was a little scattered and I felt embarrassed. I got a little distracted and my mind went blank at one point. I had to ask the audience where I was in a bit. Agh. There had been a drunk lady yelling out a little bit, but I felt like I could have handled it better. I just used an old heckling line that I’ve used for years, but I did add a new tag. Jackie and Hayden did great. Oh well. Now, sleep and two more shows in Salt Lake City. I was talking to a friend in text about how it’s just hard for my ego that I’m not the worst and I’m not the best (if anyone is) and it’s ok to be just ok at a job- that I just be a part of the world and don’t have to be a genius or superhuman to participate. Participating- at any level of skill- is a victory.

Free days

Shows in Vancouver went ok. Felt jumbled again with new “Beat the Christians” premise and feel like I lost the crowd completely for 10 minutes, but I tried.

Had a lovely talk in the hotel lobby of Vancouver with another comic who happens to be a lady about stage fright getting worse with age. That I now put more pressure on myself because I have some people who have said they liked my stuff and I want to please those same people again. And there is no guarantee that will happen. I can love someone’s paintings of dogs and then, I stop being interested in their new robot series. Anyhoo, it was really nice to hear a younger, hipper comedian than myself talk about the same concerns. I’m sorry about this occasional font bolding- I keep hitting the wrong buttons on my phone. Or, I am experimenting with emphasis.

Today, I made the mistake of running a joke by comic I didn’t know well (the massive, unwieldy “Beat the Christians” chunk. Ugh. They asked me what I did to run new material and I said, “well, I just do it for people. Do you want to hear something I’m working on?” And unfortunately, it did not go over as I’d hoped. The witness seemed completely confused and bored by it and then, had comments. Whoops. It was good to get it out and rehearse it, but if it the rehearsal just brings shame- maybe better to keep to myself. If I may quote my mother quoting the Bible (it’s not all murderous misogyny?), “Listen, kiddo, don’t throw pearls before swine.” That’s a little harsh, but I have to remember some people aren’t prepared for my gorgeous baubles that I’m throwing in their face and it might be best to showcase the oyster rocks in a well-lighted place where they might be better appreciated.


It’s been a few days since my last show on Saturday (8 am cruise shows were very successful- for me anyways- as a way to get myself to rehearse and edit material. I’m not sure how small morning crowd felt, but I was very grateful).

Jackie Kashian and I headed to Vancouver tonight via WestJet and I’m feeling nervous about tomorrow’s set. I’ll have time on the plane and will write more then.

Boat writing

I want to spend some time doing “Joke machine” with my pal Jackie today. There are lots of other creative types on the JoCo cruise and so looking forward to fun conversation followed by naps.

The boat writing has been lovely. I’m doing an 8 am show every day of about 45 minutes of new material and I’m so grateful for the crowds that are extremely supportive and I may have new “chunks” to develop!

WiFi is expensive so I’ll not re-checkin until Sunday but just to say- I didn’t want to do the show today at all and it turned out to be the best so far.

Back from Reality to reality.

As we’ve all heard, reality tv is not real, but it pays well and I learned to make pizza and met LaToya Jackson. I’m pretty sure woody Guthrie would not approve. It was absolutely ridiculous and I got eliminated after 3 rounds. There was blood, goring fish and I went out on a mixed green salad with goat cheese and raspberries.

Now, back to the real real writing real.

I have a show tonight after 2 weeks without performing (or it feels like 2 weeks) and so very nervous. It’s a show in our new neighborhood we’re calling “free cake” because we will be serving free cake. The idea was to have a show in our hood where all comedians had a 15-minute set (which is rare in Los Angeles) and maybe we’d get to meet our neighbors.

I’ll bookend here that I listen to the hour-long set I did 2 weeks ago and try to refresh my memory.

I do not want to listen to it. At all.

Did it! I know I missed a chunk or two, but it was good to hear that it went well in Boston.

Now, need to go through with my face. I’m going to do the Worst Job Possible and then, get back to you.

Did the show at the cafe de Leche Altadena last night and it was a grand success (in my biased opinion). I was able to do almost all of the new material and I forgot to time people and so the show went a little long, but the crowd was very generous and well-lit outside.

I’d like to do some writing today about a visit to the Harvard lampoon society and worst cooks show. Feeling like I should make room for other comics and stop performing- but I need to have a way to earn and maybe I can just talk about that on stage, do some writing about that.

Now, heading off on my first cruise! It’s a comedy and art and games cruise called JoCo after musician, Jonathan Coulton. I asked for an 8 am show every day to rehearse in a small room on the ship they use for magic. That way, I can get the new bitz into muscle memory and work on new stuff- even if it’s for 1 or 2 bleary-eyes early risers. Hubby Scott laughed and laughed when I told him about these bird-worm presentations, but I have a feeling he will attend in his pjs.

Afternoon rehearsal show!

Thanks for all of the kind comments!! There haven’t been trolls and so I’m feeling better about reading them.

Today is a new day- doing hour of material rehearsal At The Clubhouse theatre in Hollywood (in a strip mall between a sprint store and fallas paredes (low prices?) clothing. It’ll be at 5:30 pm and so maybe no audience, but even one person is very helpful.

Now to just get myself to rehearse the bits in a row!

I’m really happy with how the hour is going and I’ll transcribe it here (as soon as I stop throwing up at the idea of doing it) and maybe that can count as rehearsing before the rehearsal. Also, a 20 minute spot at 8:20 so I’ll be checking in throughout the day.

I listened to the new material from show in Boston. Yahooie! The next step is to type it all down. Aghwah. I think I can do it in the Lyft ride to this voiceover job. Will check back in when done.

(Also, here are my current distractions which may or may not being taking up space in my brain: animation project, new hour, reality show, mad magazine project, regular voiceover jobs, and tax bookkeeping for business/personal). I worry that I over commit out of FOMA and financial fear- that I’ve got to have tons of irons in fires- not sure if that’s totally true due to lack of clarity with spending. )

Tried to type in Lyft ride to mixed results but I’ll try to cut and paste as far as I got. I may pay a young comedian to transcribe the hour just because it is so painful that I’m worried I won’t do it.

I did, however, rehearse for an hour while walking from labrea to Vermont on sunset Blvd. and no one notices you are talking to yourself on the street in Hollywood. It’s a really hard scene – 50k people live on the street in Los Angeles, making it illegal to be poor as they keep moving people from tents or taking their shopping carts. It blows.

  • I’ve given money but I haven’t done outreach work with people because of fear of shame and discomfort (on my part, obviously) for being such a privileged unwoke asshole.

Ok- off to do show.

Did it! And I always ask for a lady comic to open 5 minutes from the crowd and another lady to close and they were great. And I remembered to record – so victory! And now going to do 2nd 20 minute set (after dinner with fellow comics at diner- all probably 20 years younger than me).

Did second show last nighT for 20 min at largo and it was a little jumbled, but better for rehearsing for sure. Then, the 45 minute drive back home to Altadena from West Hollywood.

Thank you for accompanying me.

Home with a cold

I think it’s allergies. I don’t feel like doing anything today but bookkeeping and I need to do it.

Year end taxes are serious, need to fill out and send 1099s and I’ll try to make it fun by listening to my 12 stepper podcasts. (Big fan of debtors anonymous despite my atheism- see other human beings as flawed Higher Powers instead and it turns out human beings and answer more often then God, in my experience.

We don’t have any debt beyond 80k on a 15 year mortgage (having a tv show is like winning the lottery), but I’m conscious that these are probably my highest earning years AND we want to give back more than just 10 percent of income- we’re out to beat the Christians at their own game and currently giving 11 percent monthly to local foodshelf, homeless shelter. My dream is to be the Paul Newman’s Salad Dressing of comedy- all profits going to charity, but we still have to save a little more for retirement. The merch I have all goes to charity so that is something!

As for writing or rehearsing, today I’m doing a show that’s improvised at 8 and so I’ll just stick with that.

On way home!

Last night’s show was ok- not the greatest. Rehearsing more would have helped, I’m sure.

The plan now is to schedule some daytime shows (2 or 3) and see if I can do a daily show on the JoCo cruise at 8 am or something ridiculous.

Ok! I scheduled shows at 8 am every morning on JoCo cruise so I can work on my hour for a small crew of early risers. I am not an early riser myself and I know I will have to go right back to sleep afterwards, but it will be a great way to start the day and make sure I don’t get rusty over the 7 days at sea. My husband Scott is going to laugh and laugh about this.

I might do a few shows this week during the day, but I have to check to see if there’s space.

New Haven

Very tired and I lost the check I was paid with for Boston last night. I put it in my pocket and managed to let it fly out somewhere in transit. Very mad at myself, but this has happened before. Despite needing money to live, I will sometimes lose the paperwork that represents money to live.

Drove 3 hours to new town and at a hotel I stayed at only a month ago.

Was able to rehearse:

Saturation point

Beat the Christians

With Jackie Kashian in the car and then worked out the idea of being an atheist preacher and have some beats for that and so that’s exciting.

But I feel so tired (I think I forgot one of my meds last night) and gross (just ate Milano cookies and an Arco tuna fish sandwich and breakfast was cheese popcorn and peanuts with cold brew) and I’d like to take a nap. I know it would help to rehearse before I go up tonight and to work out so I feel better physically. So, committing to the group of us 20 that I’ll nap one hour, excercise one hour and then listen to set from last night/or rehearse all new material for an hour. Oof. I know it doesn’t seem like much and with all of the suffering the world it seems completely irrelevant, don’t need to hear from any more white ladies’ POV, but if it cheers me up, maybe that’s something. I don’t know anymore what’s useful.

I’ll check in after a few hours to say what actually happened if the above intended actions.

Well, I did listen to 30 minutes of set, but no rehearsal. It is depressing how many ums and ahs I have. Goal tonight: pace it up and enunciate!

The production staff said there is a lot of heckling in New Haven and what to do with hecklers, should they speak up. It’s been a while since that has been said before a show. I told them to remove them after 3 interactions (rule of 3).